My addiction

I've never been particularly maternal. Even as a little girl I shunned dolls in favour of farms and all the exciting things that came with them like tractors, cows and horses. So it was with some surprise in 2004 when I was working as a senior Finance Manager for the Alliance and Leicester banking group that I fell pregnant with my son Thomas.

Now much as I love my children to bits and would do anything for them, I was completely unprepared for motherhood. The lack of sleep, the crying, the dirty nappies, the vomiting, the tantrums. Life as I knew it was well and truly over. My daughter Gemma followed on 17 months after Thomas and I'll never forget one particularly bad night. It was 3am and I'd been up hours with her as she was sick. I was exhausted, covered in sick and had to get up at 6am to cope with a hyper toddler! I'm not really sure why, but the very next day I dug out some pencils and started drawing. From then on drawing and painting became my means of coping and preserving my sense of self-worth.

People often ask me how I make time for painting with looking after two children. It's easy, I make time for it! There is always something that needs doing - cleaning, cooking, washing, ironing, school runs etc. But chores really are only as important as you make them. I spend the day with the children and then every evening after I've put them to bed I paint. I can normally get two - three hours in a night. If I have a spare hour during the day when they're at school or pre-school I'll go to our local park and do a small 6 x 8 inch painting.

Thomas started school last year and this September Gemma will be off. Like most Mum's it's not a day I'm looking forward to. Not because I'm sad to wave her off (we're both more than ready for that) but because it means I have to make a decision about my future. Go back into Finance or consider trying to make a living from painting (if that's even possible)? My heart says one thing and my head another. So this really does feel like a 'crunch' year for me and I know I need to focus everything I have on improving my painting if I'm to stand any chance at all. But unlike hourseowork, painting is an absolute joy for me not a chore and whatever I decide to do I'll never give it up. I'm not sure I could if I wanted to, I'm addicted!